It's time to stop messing around and get serious about losing the weight. The time is now
and I am the person who has to do the work.

Sunday, October 31, 2010

I Have a Friend.......

I have a friend. Her name is Mary She is one of the Final 7 in the Shrinkvivor challenge. I would love it if you voted for her. Let me give you a few reasons why.

Mary is a 64 year old wife, mother, grandmother and great grandmother. She handles all those jobs with much love and giving. I know Mary as an awesome friend. But, Mary is also a person who has finally learned to give to herself. I think that is a flaw that many of us have. We give to everyone but oursleves. We were on the same team for the Lowdown and Dirty in 30 challenge. We kept each other motivated and we won that challenge. I have faltered a bit since that challenge, but not Mary. She went into this Shrinkvivor challenge with everything she had and look what she got. A spot in the final 7. She has really pushed herself this challenge. If you go to her blog and read her weigh in posts, I promise you'll be impressed. She has done amazingly awesome things with the fitness and non fitness challenges. You won't believe the miles she has logged. She does the Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred every day and is into level 2 now.

This is Mary on a walk we took at the Dunes this summer. She is also an excellent photographer.

Mary and I didn't meet through blogging. We met through her daughter Beth. I had Beth's kids in preschool and Mary would be there from time to time. Mary and I became friends through blogging. When we both decided to start blogs, that was when our friendship blossomed. I don't see her in person nearly enough, but our blogs and email keep us close. This is a picture of us in April at the March of Dimes Walk for Babies, a cause close to both of our hearts.
If you are trying to decide who deserves your votes this week, I hope you will consider Mary. Go here and watch her vlog. She totally impressed me. She told me she was nervous, but you'd never know it. She was honest and sincere and explains why she wants to be the Shrinkvivor winner. I so want her to win. She totally deserves it. She worked so hard and has come such a long way.
Please go here and cast your votes for my friend Mary.
Thank you so much

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Shrinkvivor Weigh In # 7

So, I confessed to you all yesterday that I was in a funk this week. I sure am proving it today with my weigh in post......

Not surprisingly, I gained .4 pounds this week. I'm actually pretty happy with that. I thought it was going to be worse. My mileage was a whopping 14 miles. The one thing I did do pretty faithfully was try to read my labels for trans fats.

With the exception of my walking, the only real exercise I did this week was the tworkout last night. I'm happy to say that I think that tworkout helped me turn a corner and I may be back to my old self. I'm waiting for the new challenges to come up. I'm off the next four days and the weather isn't supposed to be awful, so I'm looking forward to getting out for some walks and taking some fall pictures.

One last wonderful friend Mary is still in this challenge. She is not with me on the island. She is a member of Tribe Outlast. I am so proud of her. Keep up the great work Mary. I know you can do this!!!

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

True Confessions

Confession is good for the soul, right? Then confess I must. There was this really positive girl that posted ten days ago. Where the hell did she go? We need to send out a possee and find her quick because the person they left behind somehow got into a funk.

Right off the bat, I'm drinking a Bacardi and diet as I type this. It was a rough day, but really. My day started off at 8:15 with myself and my partner shut off in the basement of our building with 14 three and four year olds while the tornado sirens blared. We were down there for 40 minutes until the all clear was sounded. When we came up, it was time for the rest of the kids to come and have our Halloween party. We repeated the party thing again this afternoon. Fun times! Now, that is not what put me in a funk. To be honest with you, I don't know what has. But here's what 's been going on the last few days.....

1. I can't stop eating. If I was still having periods, I'd blame it on extreme PMS. I just keep stuffing my face. What's up with that?

2. I've pretty much forgotten what exercise is. Bad thing because I have a 5k on November 6th.

3. I went from drinking almost no diet coke to drinking almost exclusively diet coke.

4. Water, what's that????

So girls, I think I need a good ass kickin! It seems like since I got voted to Exhile Island, I'm slacking big time. My good intentions that I was sticking to before have flown out the window. I need to get back on track and fast.

I think I need to start tonight with the old tworkout. I missed it last week, but not tonight. Okay April, I need you to work me big time! I'm counting on you!!

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Shrinkvivor Weigh In # 6

I come to you this week from Exhile Island with no graphics. My internet was down at home this morning and I won't be home tonight, so I'm posting this on my lunch at work.

I finally lost something this week. Nothing much, but something none the less. I weighed in at 195.8 this morning. That is a loss of .6 pounds. It's fine. I've been more involved in challenges this week and being I'm on the island now, I'm okay with that.

I logged 312 minutes for the fitness challenge. It has still been beautiful weather here in northwest Indiana, so I'm spending as much time as I can outside before winter hits. I've been trying to do either the Shred or a wii game first thing in the morning before work. I've done pretty well with that.

The non fitness challenge surprised the hell out of me. EXPOSE MYSELF! Surely you must be joking. But, guess what? I pulled up my big girl panties and I did it. If you haven't read it, check it out here.

I also have another post that goes with the Love Me project that I love. If you'd like to read it, it's here.

Okay, lunch is almost over and I haven't eaten, so I better go. Hope you are all doing well with the challenge. I can't wait to get home this afternoon and hear the new challenges. After last week, I can do anything!

Saturday, October 16, 2010

What I've Learned About Love in the Last 13 Days.

I have had a pretty amazing 13 days. I have been caught in a flurry of emotions. I've have dug deep in my soul. I've been full of thoughts. I've been frightened, perplexed, strong, brave, overwhelmed, but mostly I have been loved. And probably not by the people you might be thinking of.
It all started on October 3 when I took the pledge with many of my sisters to love me. It may not seem like a big deal to some of you, but for me, it was huge. I am the kind of person who puts myself out there for everyone and everything else and then has little or no time for me. Like Ado Annie in Oklahoma, I'm just a girl who can't say no. But on October 3, I promised to try to change that
So....I made it a point to find time for me and only me in every day. It showed in the Shrinkvivor challenges. For the fastest mile challenge, I finally broke my 15 minute mile and almost broke 14 minutes. Again, not a big deal for some of you, but huge for me. For the mileage challenge, I walked 26.2 miles in six days. As several people pointed out in their comments, that was a freakin marathon. I was doing this.
Now comes October 12. I'm on Twitter that night and everyone is buzzing about the Exposed Movement. I had no idea what they were talking about. I ask what's going on and I find out. To quote Melissa......
" What would it be like if we stopped wondering “what if” and “when I lose this much” and simply appreciated our bodies for what they ARE. Today. Right now. At this stage in your journey, how would it feel to say you love yourself and focus on the what your body has done for you and what it CAN do for you?".
I immediately said no way. This is not something that I would ever do. I could write a good post maybe, but never put pictures of myself out there in my undies or a bathing suit. You all have fun. I'm too old and too fat for any of this.
Never say never! Here comes October 13 and the new challenges for Shrinkvivor. I have never not done a challenge. I have always tried. I may not have succeeded in them all, but I always tried. The new non fitness challenge is to expose ourselves. Holy Mother of God!!! What the hell am I going to do now? I can't not do it. It's a challenge and I can't not do a challenge.
So....I sit down and I think. What am I so afraid of? That people will know I'm fat? Guess what? They already know that. Why else would I be trying to lose weight with the Sisterhood? Is it that I would have to face the fact that I am fat? I already know that. I've already accepted that. What's the worst thing that could happen if I do this? I would have to really accept who I am and how I look and put my money where my mouth is and truly love me for who I am and what I look like. Bingo!! That's it and I can do that.
Here comes the hard part....taking the pictures. Looking back, I should have used the timer or the remote to take the pictures, but I was just thinking "get it done". I wasn't thnking of picture quality. I put on a sports bra and workout shorts. That was as exposed as I was going to get. I went in the bathroom, took a deep breath and shot. Next, I put them on my blog and I wrote the post. The post was easier than I thought. There really are things that I like about my body. And then came the absolutely hardest part. I had to push Publish Now. So hard, but I did it.
In what seemed like seconds, I was getting comments on the post. I was overwhelmed. People were so genuinely kind and sweet. I couldn't believe that they were talking about me. It was awesome and amazing and I felt absolutely and totally loved. Loved by people that I only know through this social media site. I only know a very few of you in person. Two years ago I would have told you that it wasn't possible. Today, I can tell you that it is possible and I love you all so much. You mean so much to me and I don't ever want to imagine my life without you.
There were two things that really surprised me. There was a comment from my dear, sweet, wonderful friend Sharon. I had no idea that she even knew about this weight loss blog. I never told her. I was thrilled to read her comment though. She never fails to make me feel like a million bucks. I love her so much. She joined the Sisterhood today. She also promised me this morning that she was going to post an exposed post today. I guarantee you are going to want to read it. She is a million shades of awesome. I also noticed my beautiful daughters face in the followers pictures. I had never noticed it before. I didn't know that any of my family knew about this blog. It was my blog where I could be real and truthful with all of you. I didn't think I was ready for my family to know what I weighed. I guess at least one of them does now.
So, that is what I learned about love in the last 13 days. I learned that I really do love me. I'm really pretty awesome. I've got a long way to go, but I know I will get there and I will love me for me on this journey. I also learned that the people who are supposed to love you aren't always the ones that can give you the most love. People that I only know right here is this monitor can make me feel wonderful and awesome and so very loved. Thank you so much!
p.s. It's one of those days when Blogger won't let me make paragraphs. I'm not stupid, just frustrated with Blogger. Now that I have said this, when I hit Publish Now for the 4th time of trying, it will probably have paragraphs.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010


Until last night on Twitter, I had never heard of the Exposed movement. Some of my sisters from the Sisterhood were talking about it and how they were going to do it. The premise of the whole movement is to post pictures of yourself and tell the world why you love yourself. To say that you love your body and all the wonderful things it can do. They were discussing if they were going to do it in underwear or bikini. I laughed. At that point, I wasn't even considering doing this. Even if I was, I don't have any cute underwear sets and I haven't owned a bikini in more years than I care to count. After lots of tweets, I went to bed.

I didn't think about it again until I got home from work today. That was when I watched Melissa's vlog about the new challenges for this week for Shrinkvivor. Now I have never been one to step back from a challenge. I have tried everything the sisters have thrown at me. So I did some thinking. Do I want my fear of "exposing" myself to the world make me a quitter?

It's 24 hours from the start of this whole thing and I'm back on Twitter. The girls are all talking about there posts and pictures and I'm starting to feel guilty. If they can do this, what the hell am I so afraid of? It can't be that somebody might think I'm fat because I already know that is true. So I just said screw it and put on a sports bra and exercise shorts and got the camera.

After lots of thought and reflection, here is what I decided about my body.

This body has given me life for almost 56 years. It is not in it's best shape, but that is a work in progress. My stomache is soft and squishy, but it carried five babies in it. Four of those babies were full term and once they came two at a time. It was streched to it's limits and has the scares to prove it. But it's getting stronger all the time and can do 50 sit ups at a time now.

These arms can hug, comfort, lift weights, do push ups, cook, clean, write, type, cuddle and love on my grandkids.

These legs have walked two mini marathons. They can dance up a storm. They never fail to get me where I need to be. And when I really push them, they try to run.

Here is the bottom line. I may not be what I want to be
right now, but I am beautiful. I am a great wife and mother. I am a totally awesome grandma. I am a daughter, sister, friend and teacher. This body lets me do pretty much everything I want to do. This body and me are pretty damn awesome and when we post this next year, we'll be even better.

Now comes the really hard part....can I hit publish post?

Shrinkvivor Week #5

We'll start with the not so great news. For the second week in a row, I have maintained. I'm still 196.4. I know it's better than gaining, but what the hell? I thought I was eating right, but I'm not positive because that food journaling challenge didn't go too well. In order to log my food, I've decided I need to quit my job. I have sucked at it since the end of August when I went back to work. I did great all summer while I was home. Seeing how quiting my job isn't in the cards right now, I'm going to have to figure this out.

I did well with the mileage challenge. I had 26.2 miles. I know for some people that isn't great, but for me, it is. Once again, that job gets in the way. I did more than usual this week because of the challenge, but other things got left by the wayside. Once again, I need to figure this all out.

Speaking of work, I have to get there. Hope you all did well and I'm pretty sure I'll be joining the island folk this week. I certainly deserve to. it's okay though. I love Jimmy Buffett. Maybe he plays some sets over there.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Shrinkvivor Weigh In #4

Can you believe that it is weigh in #4? Time is going too fast. How can it already be October?

I'll start with the not so great news. I maintained this week. I had hoped to not do that this challenge. The stakes are too high, but maintaining is better than gaining. It could have been a gain, so I'll take it.

Now comes the amazing part of this post. Checkout these treadmill screens. I know that for many of you, these are nothing. I'm sure it is very slow for you, but for me, they are amazing. I have never been able to break a 15 minute mile before. I set my sights on doing that this week for the mile challenge and I did it. 14:04!!! I got as high as a 6 on the treadmill. I had never gone past a 4 before. I finished on 4 this time. There was a point where I didn't know if I was going to pee my pants or fall off like they do on Biggest Loser. But guess what? I didn't do either. I finished happy and sweaty.

The next challenge was the five servings of fruit and veggies. I rocked this one. I'm pretty good about it normally, but I made sure I got at least five servings this week. I found a great snack at Costco this week. It is dried apples, cherries and cranberries. Yummy.
I kept up on previous challenges of water and fast food. Still no fast food and no less than 64 ounces of water a day. I've finally gotten to the point where my body is used to the water and I'm spending less time in the bathroom. I'm not sure if that is good or bad. Could that have anything to do with my maintaining this week?
I was sad last week when we lost half of our tribe at weigh in. I felt terrible when we found out that one of the girls didn't weigh in on purpose because she felt like she was dragging us down. We have never heard from the other two girls at all. Our remaining three promised to make Georgia proud. I don't think I did that with my weight, but hopefully she'll be proud of my mile.
So now I wait. Wait till tomorrow and see where the chips fall. Whatever happens, I will remain proud of that mile. I never thought I could do it.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

I Love Me

So, first I took the pledge....

The Pledge to Love Myself.

I pledge allegiance, TO MYSELF.

Today I will proclaim it

out loud,



From this day forward,

I promise to be nice.

TO myself and ABOUT myself.

I will accept my quirks and I will love my faults.

I will love my shape, whatever it is

My bones, my muscles, my hair and my face.

My body, all of it, inside and out.

Because that is what makes me, ME.

And there is only one of me.

I will finally allow myself to see what others see.

My kindness, my spirit, my love.

And starting today, I will share some of it,

with ME.

Because I deserve it.

I will fight for myself, because I’m important.

And I deserve to be everything I am capable of in my life.

I deserve to find my greatness and live my life fully and completely.

With no regrets.

There is so much I want to do in my life,

but first, it begins with “me.”


Today, tomorrow, and every day after that.


And no one can stop me.

Now comes the hard part. I am participating in the month long project over at the Sisterhood. It's the I Love Myself project. The Sisterhood is declaring October “I LOVE MYSELF” Month! A month dedicated entirely to finding acceptance and love in our hearts for ourselves. Because no one can love us completely and fully unless we love ourselves completely and fully first. There is plenty of love to go around, but we never quite have enough for ourselves and this October we’re changing that.

So that is how I am going to spend my month. Living up to the pledge I have taken and will reread every morning as I start my day.